- The
relationship is based on unconditional love for the person with dementia. This needs to be renewed often, especially in
“crisis” situations, and does not go without saying. It is important to set
limits, take responsibility for providing leadership and orient the person to time,
surroundings, etc. It is always important to respond to inappropriate behavior in an adult
manner, without embarrassing the person.
- It
is important to make an effort to understand the feelings of the person with dementia. If
this does not happen, the person will likely become an object receiving care and disappear
as a person. Remember that you will not be able to understand every thought, feeling, or
behavior. It is best to accept what cannot be understood while still making an effort to
connect with the person on an emotional level.
- Be
sincere and truthful. Be genuine as you are able without hurting the person. Pretending to
esteem that person more than you really do can undermine the relationship. For example, if
you approach the person with a friendly façade, he is likely to recognize it as just that
and either reject or retreat.
- It
is important to try to see the world of the care receiver. Anticipate his needs, enable
that person to achieve success, as much as possible, even in small ways. Behave like a
tennis coach who plays the ball to a student in a way that he can return it.
- Create
a regular daily routine with small rituals (singing in the morning, washing hands, saying
prayers, preparing food, cleaning). Engage the person in these activities without
demanding too much, be sensitive to how they are feeling. Encourage the person to do the
things they are capable of, this promotes good self-esteem. Try to weave former habits and
memories into daily life. Remember that the focus is always on the experience and not on
the result. Feeling good preserves the feeling of being a person.
- As
the disease progresses, the body very much becomes the focus. You can create a sense of
security and comfort by touching hands, giving hugs, making eye contact, and gesturing, as
appropriate.
- Make sure you get a break! You should not
carry this type of a load by yourself. Take care of your body, mind, spirit and your
relationships. Learn to accept help, the sooner you do, the longer you can be a partner to
the person with dementia.
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